If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
