Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
