How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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