Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I need a beard to bite.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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