i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
BRING THE BAGELS
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
