He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
