we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
