So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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