I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
