I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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