My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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