I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
