I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
The Olympian is in my bed
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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