i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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