Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
