worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
