Fine. I'll sleep in my office
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize