therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
