I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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