Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
