No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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