is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
