Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
