are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Randomize
