Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
