where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
