ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
