i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Can Purell be used as lube?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
