sarcasm needs its own font
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
