I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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