This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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