On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize