Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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