it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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