was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize