He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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