oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
