You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
