What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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