one two three fourrrrnication!
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
