good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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