There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
