don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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