I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize