I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
