Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
