HIV tests are more positive than that guy
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
So gin and wine won't be happening again
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
