Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
