Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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