you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
