my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
