I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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