I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
