party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
wanna go halves on a baby?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
