just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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