not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
