He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize
