and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
