went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize