dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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