you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
It's never too late to be topless.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
