Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Farmville is her only friend.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
