Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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