Rock
Scissors
Fuck
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
