So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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