Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize