I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
