So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
